September 13, 2026
Cole Taylor
Dear Washer and Dryer Monster,
We don’t talk much anymore. I’ve been quite busy. That’s why I’ve had so many clothes to wash lately. How’ve you been? How’s life? How’s the family? I hope all is well. You probably don’t care, but life’s been pretty good for me recently. Anyway, I’m writing to you today for a simple request. Please stop taking my socks.
You probably thought I wouldn’t notice, but I have. If I put an even number of socks in the washer, why am I missing a sock when they’re all dry and ready to be folded? I know I didn’t do that myself. It had to have been someone. What am I to do with one sock? It's like wanting a PB&J, but all I get is the jelly. Why must you do this to me? I suspect you even stole my lucky socks this week. You probably sneakily put them back in my sock drawer after you realized the major mistake you’d made. That was the last straw, or I guess the last sock if I wanted to be funny, but I don't want to be funny cause I’m angry. What if I took one of your socks? How would you feel? I don’t think you’d feel very good either. So please stop taking my socks.
I’m trying to be as nice as I can about this. I figure life’s been hard on your family as of late. It’s been hard on all of us. That doesn’t mean you have to take my socks, though. My mom pays good money for my socks. I understand that you and your family find my socks tasty, but you're gonna have to find something else to eat. I don’t care how hungry your family is. Don’t take this as some invitation to start stealing my clothes either. Just stop taking my socks. Thank you.
Sincerely,
A Boy Who Wants His Socks Back
Comments